creativity is
(not) a choice.

For me, the need to create is non-negotiable — a visceral impulse that stays with me even when everything seems to be running against it. I remember one hit clearly: a short film of mine getting torn apart in front of the whole class at university, a blow heavy enough that I didn't want to keep going for a while. But the spark came back. That urgency kept showing up in the most unlikely places — writing ideas and sketches on the backs of receipts during my shifts as a supermarket cashier, then later, as a receptionist, using the quiet of slow weekends to actually film and edit. It was never just a hobby. It's closer to an existential necessity.

Part of the same thread as the rest of the archive — the pull to make something even when the timing, the room, or the moment made it hard. More of this register lives in Stratus, the full archive of video essays.